The Song Title Game
by Kitsune Tanaka
Summary: Everyone speaks in song titles, and Ed gets confused. Rating is for language and GRAPHIC MALEXMALE SITUATIONS.
1. Round 1

"Sex and Candy," Ed heard Roy say from behind the stack of papers he was reading.

"Yes, please," Ed murmured. Roy raised an eyebrow as Havoc said "Young Lust."

Fuery quickly said "Through Fire and Flames."

Breda thought for a moment, then said "Sweet Home Alabama."

Edward tossed his papers on the couch next to him. "Wait wait wait. What the hell are you going on about? Sex and Candy? Young Lust?"

Roy lowered his papers, and nodded at Havoc. "Care to explain?"

"Sure can, Chief. C'mere Ed." Edward walked over to the taller blond, and sat on the arm of his chair. "See, this is the Song Title Game. The last letter of the previous song has to be the first letter of the next song." Havoc wrote the song titles on a sheet of paper. "The Colonel started with 'Sex and Candy', and then I said 'Young Lust', then Fuery said 'Through Fire and Flames', then Breda said 'Sweet Home Alabama.' So the next song has to start with an A. Make sense?"

Edward nodded, and Havoc smiled. "Good. Now, here's the tricky part. You get points for every title. A, E, I, L, N, O, R, S, T, and U get you one point. D & G are two. B,C, M, & P are three. F, H, V, W, & Y are four. K is five. J &X are ten, and Q & Z are twenty. Plus you get ten for ending the round." Edward nodded again, and walked back to the couch.

Falman said "All of My Love" as he walked out of the office.

Roy said "Evil", and then signed a few more papers.

Hawkeye walked in the office with a huge stack of papers, and set them on Roy's desk. She said "Love You" as she walked back out.

Havoc started laughing, while Roy glared at her retreating figure. Edward flipped through the pages he was holding, and softly asked "Umbrella?"

Everyone started laughing uproariously, until Fuery said "Anarchy in the U.K."

Breda said "Good one. Karma Police," then walked over to the filing cabinets.

Falman nodded. "Elderly Woman."

Riza came back in the office with another stack of papers, and said "Novocaine. I didn't think you listened to Pearl Jam, Falman."

He shrugged. "It's on the radio when I'm flipping through."

She nodded as Roy said "Every Breath You Take."

"Every Day I Write the Book," from Breda.

"It feels like I'm writing a book today," Roy mumbled.

"Kashmir," said Fuery.

Havoc threw his pen at Roy. "Relax."

"Attempting to assault a superior officer," Roy asked as he caught the pen.

Havoc grinned, and looked around the room. "No one with an x?" He grinned wider. "Alright! Now, if you don't mind Colonel, I'll be going outside for a moment." Roy just waved him off, and went back to glaring at his papers.

As Havoc passed by Riza's desk, she said, "You're in the lead, but only because you ended the round." He raised an eyebrow. "You're in the lead, with fifteen points. Breda and Fuery have seven each. The Colonel has three, Falman and I have two each." She smiled slightly. "And Edward is in dead last with one point."

The tall man grinned around his cigarette. "He'll catch up. He just has to get in the swing of things."

She nodded. "But that was the song that I least expected him to come up with."

"Yeah, Ed coming up with Rhianna was a little off the wall." He chuckled. "Then again, with all the traveling he does, who can blame him?"

Riza smiled. "Go smoke. Round two will start soon."


	2. Round 2

Havoc walked back in the office, and sat down as he said "Werewolves of London."

Edward sat up from his slouch, looked the tall man in the eyes, and said "Natasha."

Havoc grinned. "Been holding on to that one?"

Edward groaned. "It's frickin stuck in my head. Ugh."

"Ask Me No Questions," Breda said as he walked over to the coffee maker.

Fuery thought for a moment, and said "Smoke on the Water" as he walked out of the office.

Roy quickly spat out "Rock & Roll Fantasy", and Ed rolled his eyes.

Riza set another stack of papers on the desk, rested her hand on the butt of her gun, and said "You Oughta Know." Roy simply sighed in defeat.

Falman looked out the window, and said "Who'll Stop the Rain"

Everyone looked at the window, and sighed. "Makes my automail ache," Ed mumbled, as he rotated his shoulder. "Oh! I've got one! Nickelback!"

Havoc and Roy busted out laughing.

"Hey! What?" Ed looked back and forth between the two men. "What's so funny?"

Breda stifled a snicker and said "Nickelback is a band, Ed, not a song title."

Edward's face fell. "Damn."

Then Falman spoke up. "Does anyone have anything else for n?"

Breda and Fuery shook their heads, while Havoc and Roy were laughing too hard to respond. "First Lieutenant?"

"Nope," she called from her desk. "You have the round." She walked back inside the office, with just one sheet of paper. "Havoc has 19 points. Falman has 16. Breda and Fuery have eight each. I have 6, Roy has four, and Edward has one. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have _work_ to do," Riza said as she walked out of the office with her hand on the butt of her gun again.

Roy sat up straight and began furiously signing papers, while Havoc grinned as he walked outside for another smoke break.


	3. Round 3!

Falman sat back down and tapped his pen against the table. He fidgeted for another moment, then said "Fifty Ways to Leave Your Lover."

Fuery nodded, and said "Rasputin."

Ed grinned and said "Never Again. That's what I meant last time, instead of Nickelback."

Havoc chuckled, and said "Nobody Home. Sure it was."

Roy signed some papers, and shuffled some others as he saw Riza walk in front of the office door. He gave her a strained smile and said "Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic" with a note of hope in his voice. "Please don't give me more papers," he mumbled under his breath.

Breda stifled a manly giggle, and said "Cocaine."

Falman quickly filed a stack of papers as he said "The End of the Innocence."

"Everything's Alright," Fuery said as he started the coffee maker.

Ed groaned as Roy looked obviously at him, and pointed to another large stack of papers, and said "Take on Me."

Havoc grinned, and said "Empty Spaces," then groaned when Roy pointed to an even bigger stack of papers.

Hughes flitted in the room, and said "Roy! Have you seen the newest pictures of Elysia? They're just darling! But then, of course they are! They're of my Darling Elysia!" He produced an accordion-type photo wallet that unfolded to the floor, full of pictures.

Roy looked up, straight-faced, and said, "Hughes. S."

Hughes quickly said "Yes, yes. Stairway to Heaven. Did you see these? They're from our most recent trip to the beach!" The tall man enthusiastically thrust the wallet directly under Roy's nose.

"Yes, Hughes. I was there."

"Right. What about these?"

Riza walked in again, this time carrying a box of papers. "Sir, if you break your pen you'll have to start over with all those papers." She set the box down beside his desk. "Where did we leave off?"

Roy ground out "N" as he slowly sat down his pen.

She said "No Shoes, No Shirt, No Problems" as she walked back out of the office.

Breda leaned back and stretched as he said "Shooting Star."

Falman said "Renegade" as he walked toward Roy's desk to get a new stack of papers, until he was wrangled by Hughes into looking at "Wonderful Pictures of my Adorable Daughter Elysia!".

Fuery quietly said "Emotion", in hopes of not being noticed by the deranged Hughes.

Ed gave Roy his best "sexy" look and said, "Need You Tonight".

Havoc snorted, and said "The Trial".

Roy peeked at Hughes out of the corner of his eye, and mumbled "Loser". Hughes scoffed, and sat beside Ed on the couch, in an attempt to show the boy more pictures.

Breda stifled a burp as he said "Rude Mood."

Falman snuck back to the safety of the filing cabinet as he said "Do I Ever Cross Your Mind".

Fuery sunk lower in his chair and said "Do You Call My Name".

Riza came back, empty-handed for once, and said "The Easy Part. Lieutenant Colonel, Sir, your secretary is looking for you."

Hughes said "Thank you, First Lieutenant," at the same time Ed said "Take on Me."

Riza shook her head. "No repeats, Edward."

Havoc quickly said "Tears in Heaven," then started laughing.

Roy looked over at Hughes. "Next Time You See Her."

Hughes nodded, and Breda said "Red Lenses."

Hughes grinned as he folded up his photo wallet and said "Susie Q."

Havoc and Roy groaned simultaneously, as the bespectacled man waved and walked out of the room. Havoc hung his head, and said "Damn it," while Roy catches his face with the palm of his hand and says "Every time. Every single time."

Riza came back in the office with her tally sheet. "Falman is in first, with 25 points. Havoc is in second with 23. Breda in third with 14. Fuery has 13. The Lieutenant Colonel has eleven, and I have eight. Colonel Mustang has seven, and Edward has negative one points." She crisply folded the paper, made an about face, and quickly exited the office.

"Negative one?! How the hell did that happen," Edward practically screeched.

Havoc looked at the small boy with a raised eyebrow. "Didn't I tell you? Repeats get you negative five points the first time, negative ten the second, and you're out of the round if you have a third repeat. Repeats mean _any_ song that you've said at all during the course of the day. So you can't re-use a song you said earlier today in round one."

Edward mumbled "Shit." Then said clearer, "Alright. Are there any other rules you forgot to mention?"

Havoc shook his head. "Nope. Don't think so. Chief?"

"Sounds good to me, but I'll let you know, FullMetal."

"Sure. I'll be back, I'm gonna go to the mess hall and grab something to eat."

"Grab me a coke and a sandwich, and a bag of chips!"

"Me too, please!"

"And some cookies!"

"I would also like a sandwich."

"Maybe some donuts too."

"Ed."

"Alright Colonel SlaveDriver. So I'll just get as many sandwiches as I can carry. Alright?"

Everyone nodded as Havoc stood up, and said, "I'll go with you. That way we can get more."

Edward nodded, and they walked out in the direction of the mess hall.


	4. Round 4!

Falman poured himself a cup of coffee and said "Bohemian Rhapsody."

Ed and Havoc walked back in the office, and the shorter blond said "You and I Both."

As they set down the food they had pillaged from the mess hall, Havoc said "Have a Cigar."

Roy walked over and grabbed a turkey sandwich and said "'Round Midnight."

Breda sifted through the bags and pulled out a bag of chips. "That Smell."

Riza walked in, and Roy cringed, expecting another mountain of paperwork. She looked at him and smirked as she said "Last Name," then grabbed a turkey sandwich and a bottle of water.

Fuery picked out a roast beef sandwich and said "Eyes of a Stranger" as he opened the wrap.

Falman sipped his coffee and said "Radar Love".

Ed mumbled "Every Morning" through a mouthful of sandwich.

Havoc said "Don't Leave Me Now" as he dug out his own sandwich.

Roy swallowed, then said "Walkin'".

Breda rifled for another bag of chips as he said "Nights In White Satin".

Riza walked back in the office, and Roy pushed a stack of completed papers at her, then she said "Never Wanted Nothin' More", as she smiled and walked back out.

Fuery said "Enter Sandman", as he finished his lunch and flopped back in his chair.

Falman picked up a new stack of forms, and said "Nightswimming".

Ed choked down a cheek-full of food, and said "Groove Is In the Heart".

Havoc just shook his head as he thought, then became wide-eyed. Roy looked at him, and raised an eyebrow. Havoc simply shook his head, and Roy chuckled. "Edward," Roy said. "You've got this round."

Edward nearly spit out his soda. "Are you serious?!" Roy nodded. "YES," he shrieked as he danced around the room.

Riza walked back in the office with her ever-present tally sheet. "Havoc is currently leading with 29 points. Falman is right behind him with 27. In a surprising third place, Edward has 16 points. Fuery and Breda are tied for fourth with 15 points each. Lieutenant Colonel Hughes has 11 points. I have ten, and Colonel Mustang has 8." She folded the paper back up and replaced it in her pocket. "Take your time, Edward, since you start the next round."

The small boy grinned and said, "I'll be back. I'm going back to the mess."


	5. Round 5

Edward poked his head back in the office door, and said "Xanax," then scurried away.

Havoc looked around blankly. "The hell was that?"

Riza walked back the office. "Edward winning round five, and taking first place, with 36 points."

Jaws dropped around the room.


	6. Ooh! Round 6!

"In the Mood," Edward said as he gave Roy his best "fuck me" eyes.

Roy winked at the small blonde as he said "Don't Push."

Havoc smiled as he said "The Happiest Days of Our Lives."

Breda raised an eyebrow as he said "Sittin' on the Dock of the Bay".

Falman kept his head down and said "Yesterday".

Fuery headed toward the office door. "You Give Love a Bad Name. I'll be right back."

Roy nodded as Riza walked in and said "Easy" as she looked Roy straight in the eye.

Edward grinned as he said "Youthful Days."

Roy handed Riza some more papers and said "Something to Talk About". Riza just shook her head and walked away.

Havoc licked his lips and said "Take My Breath Away".

Breda rustled around in the bags from lunch, and said "You Shook Me All Night Long". Roy snorted, and Edward grimaced.

Falman buried his nose further in his paperwork and said "Good Vibrations".

Edward barely stifled a giggle, and said "Sexual Healing".

Roy started signing papers quicker and said "Give It To Me. Breda, Falman."

Both men said "Yes, sir!" and quickly made their way toward the door.

Havoc walked over to the door, nodded at Riza, and shut it, as he said "Eager Lips".

Edward set down the report he was reviewing, and said "Suck My Dick".

Roy looked at the small blonde and said "Kiss Me".

Havoc sat back down closer to Roy's desk and said "Easy Does It".

Ed smirked as he eyed the tall blond. "Teasin' You."

Roy practically moaned as he let his mind wander into the gutter. "Ugh! Ugh! Ugh," he said breathily.

Havoc leaned over the table until his lips were centimeters away from Edward's, then whispered "Habit Forming Kisses".

As Havoc retreated back to his side of the table, Edward climbed on top of it and followed the taller man, ghosting the words "The Same Two Lips" down his neck.

Roy rested his chin in his hand, and smirked as he said "Satisfaction Guaranteed".

Havoc leaned back in his seat and moaned "Do Me".

Edward grabbed his own ass and growled "Empty Feeling" as he looked at Roy.

Roy's smirk grew wider as he crooked a finger at Ed and said "Get On Up".

Havoc watched Ed walk over to Roy as he slowly said "Put It On Me".

Ed straddled Roy's lap as he said "Enter".

Roy hissed "Rock Your Body".

Havoc whimpered as he rocked forward in his seat. "Yearning."

Edward leaned forward and whispered into Roy's ear "Groove Me".

Roy chuckled and said "Eager Beaver Baby" as he tucked a strand of hair behind Ed's ear.

"You and I Are in the Same Mood," Havoc said as he leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes.

Edward turned sharply to look at the taller blond. "Do You Want To?"

Roy slapped Edward's ass. "One More Time."

Havoc smirked, and said "Ever Lovin' Fingers."

Edward's eyes widened, and he whispered "Show Me".

Roy leaned closer to Ed, purposely rubbing their groins together, and whispered "Every Minute of the Day".

"You All Come," Havoc said huskily.

"Erotica," Ed said softly as he closed his eyes.

Roy rolled his hips underneath Edward, and softly said "Ain't Too Proud to Beg."

"Good for You," Havoc said as he stood up.

"U Make Me Sweat," Ed moaned.

"Tonight," Roy said as he nipped at his collarbone.

Havoc approached the two in Roy's chair. "Tell Me Now."

"Whip It", Edward ground out as he started to dry-hump Roy's lap.

Roy looked up at Havoc, and said "Touch Me."

The tall man just stood there and sputtered.

Roy looked down at the blond humping his lap, and the one sputtering in front of him, and said "Let's go." Edward refused to extract himself from Roy's lap, so Havoc picked him up, and slung him over his shoulder. Roy flung open his office door, and nodded to Riza.

"I'll see you here extra early in the morning, Sir."

"Of course," he said smoothly. "Now, if you'll excuse me."

"Certainly, Sir."

The two men quickly walked to Roy's car in the underground garage, and Roy tossed Havoc the keys, after he unlocked it, and made sure that Ed was in the back seat.

"I'll make it up to you later," Roy said as Havoc looked at him uncertainly.

"Better," the tall man grumbled.


	7. Interlude Part 1

Roy climbed in the back seat beside Edward, looked at Havoc, and grinned. "Just drive. I'll make it up to you," the dark haired man said as he looked over at Edward, who had begun absently rubbing his crotch and whimpering.

Havoc nodded. "Your house?"

"Yeah, but take the back roads." Roy climbed onto the floorboard, and removed Ed's hand from his groin.

The small blonde looked down, saw Roy's face between his thighs, and grinned.

Roy pressed his nose up the tent in Ed's pants until he reached the top of the zipper, then tugged it down with his teeth, and saw a wet spot forming on the younger man's boxers.

Edward started to slide his hand back over to touch himself and Roy slapped it away. He said "Let me," as he gently pulled the other man's cock out, then heard a moan from the front seat. Roy smirked as he swallowed Edward whole.

"Oh," Edward gasped.

Roy heard fabric rustling from the front seat as he slid back and licked the salty fluid from the tip of the other man's member.

Edward hissed, and reached for Roy's hair. "It's not… nice… to tease," he panted.

"Mmm… Five minutes, Colonel," Havoc murmured huskily.

Roy felt his cock twitch as his title being used in that tone of voice, and reached down with his left hand to rub it. He swirled his tongue around the tip of the smaller man's cock, then engulfed the tip and sucked hard.

Edward bucked his hips, trying to feel more of the wet heat on his cock.

Roy decided to give, and began bobbing his head up and down, while fisting the other man's cock.

Ed's hips began thrusting wildly. "Oh god. I'm gonna…" He froze, and Roy felt streams of hot cum hit the back of his throat, which he promptly swallowed. As soon as he felt Edward relax and go limp against the seat, Roy unfolded himself from the floorboard, and leaned forward to kiss the younger man.

Edward kissed him back lazily, bonelessly, until Havoc softly said "We're here."


	8. Interlude Part 2

Havoc hopped out of the driver's seat and ran to open the rear door.

Roy pushed the one open on his side, and asked for his keys.

Havoc tossed them over the car, and Roy went to unlock the front door. Havoc gathered up the puddle that was Edward, and carried him inside.

As soon as he had gotten over the threshold, Roy slammed the door shut, shoved him against it, and began plundering his mouth unapologetically. Havoc felt a hand touch his stiff cock, and moaned into Roy's mouth.

"Colonel," he panted as they broke for air.

Roy grabbed a belt loop, and led the taller man to his bedroom.

Havoc set Edward down at the head of the bed, and gently kissed him, until he felt Roy begin to slide his hand down his pants. Havoc turned, and pushed the dark-haired man on to his bed, and began to pull his clothes off.

Roy pushed his hands away. "I'll get it. Worry about yourself," he said as he nodded at the tall blonde who was still fully clothed.

Havoc glanced down and looked almost surprised to still be wearing his uniform and started removing it as quickly as humanly possible. Once he had divested himself of his clothing, Roy tossed him a bottle of lube. Havoc grinned, and hopped on the bed beside his two lovers.

"Do you want to wake him up, or do you want me to," Roy asked.

"You do it, and bend over him. I wanna see your ass."

Roy gave him a sidelong glance, and smirked slightly. He leaned down, and took Edward's soft cock in his mouth, intent on massaging it with his fingers and tongue and lips and teeth until the small blonde came out of his stupor.

While Roy was bent over Ed with his ass in the air, Havoc crawled behind the dark-haired man, and began kissing and nibbling on his cheeks, slowly making his way inward. Havoc heard Roy breathe in sharply when he bit down a little more firmly than usual, and he chuckled low in his throat.

It was then that Edward latched onto Roy's hair, and tried to impale Roy's face on his cock. Roy just snaked his right hand up, and let Edward suck on the first two fingers.

Havoc finally arrived at his destination, and began licking and nibbling at Roy's hole.

Roy moaned around Edward's cock, and slid his first finger in up to the knuckle.

Edward moaned, and bit on his flesh middle finger as he writhed under Roy's ministrations.

Roy looked back at Havoc and nodded.

Havoc handed him the bottle of lube, and Roy slicked up his own cock, and Havoc's.

"I won't last long if you keep that up," Havoc murmured throatily. Then he purred, "Colonel," and saw Roy's cock twitch.

Roy turned back to Edward. "You ready?" The smaller man nodded.

Roy nodded to himself, and slid inside, wanting to bury himself to the hilt instantly, but waited, to give himself time to adjust. He bent over Edward, exposing his ass to Havoc, and fully sheathed himself inside the small blonde.

Havoc placed his hand on the small of Roy's back, and waited for the other man to nod.

When he did, Havoc slid in to the hilt with one smooth motion, causing Roy to be pushed further into Edward.

He thrust once…

Twice…

Then felt Roy stiffen and clench around his cock as he began to come. He grabbed Roy's hair and yanked as he thrust once more, and saw stars as he came and heard Edward moaning, signaling his completion.

Now sated, he barely had the energy to slide out and flop over to the side.

Roy didn't bother. He just flopped onto Edward and panted bonelessly.

Havoc just lay there, relaxed, until "I can't breathe."

Roy grunted.

"No," Edward gasped. "I… can't… breathe!"

Havoc looked over at the struggling blonde, who was shoving at Roy's shoulder, to no avail.

Havoc rolled onto his side, and pulled Roy over to him, and he leaned down and kissed him on the top of his head.

"Come on, let's get some sleep," he said softly as he smiled at Edward.

The smaller man nodded and got out of the bed to turn off the light switch. When he got back in bed, and curled up into Roy's body heat, he heard the dark-haired man murmur, "Simply amazing," as he drifted off to sleep.


	9. Round 7

Breda walked in the office, yawning, until Riza handed him a cup of coffee. "Who won yesterday?"

She pulled out her ever-present tally sheet, and said "I'll tell you when everyone gets here."

Breda grumbled to himself as he plopped down in a chair to wait for everyone else.

Shortly after, Falman walked in, followed by a yawning Fuery.

"Good morning," Riza said as she handed them cups of coffee.

Fuery nodded in thanks, and yawned again as he mumbled "'Morning."

Falman thanked Riza for the coffee, then sat down with Breda, waiting for everyone else to show up.

Fuery had just begun to nod off, while leaning on the wall, when Maes blew in, bearing pictures. "Riza! Would you like to see some darling pictures of Elyisia that I took last night?" He carefully shoved them under her nose.

She took them from his hands, and smiled gently. "Of course, Lieutenant Colonel. I'd love to look at them." Riza slowly flipped through the photos, and gently smiled. "These are really cute, Hughes," she softly said as she handed them back.

Hughes gently slid the stack of pictures back in his pocket, and flopped into a chair. "Shouldn't Roy be here…?"

Roy sauntered in the office, followed by Havoc and Edward. "Good morning, all! Is everyone ready for a wonderful day at work?"

Collective groans rang around the room.

"Sir."

"Yes, Hawkeye?"

"Your papers from yesterday are still on your desk. I need them by lunchtime," she said as she rested her hand on the butt of her gun.

Roy's eyes widened slightly. "Of course. I'll have them to you as soon as possible."

"Thank you, Sir." She paused, and pulled her tally sheet back out of her pocket. "The Colonel won the last round yesterday."

Roy grinned widely.

"But, Havoc is in the lead with 63 points. Ed is in a close second with 58, and the Colonel is in third with 38 points. Falman has 33 pints, Breda has 20, Fuery has 19, and the Lieutenant Colonel and I are tied with 11."

Havoc grinned. "I told you it was possible to do this with just one band."

Roy rolled his eyes. "Seven Steps to Heaven. What's up Hughes?"

"Need to Be Next to You." Hughes tossed a thin file on Roy's desk. "Here's the information on Scar."

Roy nodded. "Thanks. Is that it?"

Hughes pulled out a fat stack of photos. "I got new pictures of my darling Elysia last night!" He shoved the pictures under Roy's nose. "Isn't she just adorable?"

Roy sighed. "Yes. Wonderful. Is that it?"

Hughes nodded. "That's it," he said as he started to walk out of the office.

"Good. Fuery. U?"

Fuery grimaced. "I don't have anything."

Roy groaned as Hughes turned around and grinned. "So, what's the points?"

Roy glared at Hughes as Riza said "Havoc is still in first with 63, Ed has 58, the Colonel has 39, Falman has 33, Lieutenant Colonel Hughes has 22, Breda has 20, Fuery has 19, and I have 11." She slightly glared at the room.

Everyone ducked their heads into files and notebooks, when Roy said, "We'll resume in ten."


End file.
